I Discovered How Dating Site Scams Work. The Hard Way. Here's Why I Built YourWay2Meet.

By Team YourWay2Meet | November 2025 | 10 min read

The Moment That Changed Everything

During a difficult period in my life, I found myself alone and searching for connection.

The details of how I got there don't matter—what matters is that, like millions of people every year, I sought comfort and companionship online during a moment of vulnerability.

Shy and reserved by nature, dating apps and sites seemed easier than real life. I could take my time, think before writing, present myself without the anxiety of face-to-face interaction. For someone like me, it seemed like the perfect solution.

I've always considered myself a trusting person, positive. I thought my life experience—decades working in tech—would protect me. I believed I was safe, strong, capable of seeing through manipulation.

I was completely wrong.

After brief research, I stumbled upon an app that at first glance seemed interesting. The system was simple: buy tokens, use them to chat. Nothing strange—many sites work this way. I tried signing up.

When Hope Becomes a Trap

And then something incredible happened.

Within a few weeks, I had built a network of connections that seemed impossible. People who listened to me, who made me feel appreciated, understood, alive. After a period of loneliness, finally someone saw me for who I was.

I started to regain confidence in myself. I began to believe that maybe I wasn't so bad, that I deserved to be happy, that there was hope.

The tokens always ran out faster and faster. But it was worth it—or so I thought. Every conversation, every message received, every "I understand you" made me feel a little more human.

After a while, I tried to meet these people in real life. It seemed natural—when you have such a strong connection, you want to bring it into the real world.

But the answers were always the same:

"It's still early..."
"Let's get to know each other better online first..."
"Maybe in a few weeks..."
"I need to sort some things out first..."

After receiving this response more than once, I became suspicious.

The Devastating Truth

I started researching that site. What I discovered broke me.

The people I talked to every day—those who had made me feel human again—didn't exist.

They weren't bots. They were worse.

They were employees paid by the company running the site to pretend to be the profiles I saw. Fake profiles built with stolen photos. Conversation scripts designed to create emotional attachment. The only goal: to make me buy more tokens.

Every connection I had made was a lie constructed to steal my money.

Beyond Money: The Real Cost

Now, here, beyond the money spent—and I spent a lot—can you imagine how I felt discovering the truth?

All the relationships that had excited me, encouraged me, made me feel alive... all fake.

I hadn't simply been scammed. I had been emotionally manipulated in the most vulnerable moment of my life.

That site was specifically created to take advantage of people in difficulty—after divorces, bereavements, periods of loneliness—and steal as much money as possible from them by exploiting their desperate need for human connection.

That was the first experience.

I've had many others, all negative. One was particularly tragic, but I'll talk about that another time.

As I continued scrolling through profiles on other apps, sending messages that disappeared into the void and watching matches vanish without explanation, I understood something fundamental:

These apps aren't designed to help you find someone. They're designed to keep you glued to the screen and make you spend as much money as possible. Now it seems obvious to me but back then, when I was vulnerable, it wasn't at all.

Seeing Behind the Curtain

Here's the thing: I'm a professional software developer with over 30 years of experience in the biggest tech multinationals.

I know how apps are built. I understand algorithms, engagement metrics, user retention strategies.

And while I was living through these experiences, I saw exactly what they were doing.

Now that I know the industry from the inside, I understand the strategy:

The Business Model of Loneliness

These sites are designed to target people who find themselves in moments when they are vulnerable:

• Post-separation or divorce

• After bereavement

• Periods of depression or loneliness

• Mid-life crisis

• Any moment when we are more fragile

They know exactly when we're vulnerable. And they use that fragility against us.

Their funnel is simple but cynical:

1. Target vulnerable people (targeted ads on divorce forums, bereavement, self-help)

2. Immediate false hope ("perfect" profiles contact you right away—too perfect to be true)

3. Emotional investment (conversations designed by psychologists to create attachment)

4. Aggressive monetization (tokens, premium, virtual gifts, hidden subscriptions)

5. Artificial prolongation (always "too early" for real meeting)

6. Abandonment (when the money runs out or you realize, they disappear)

The Infinite Swipe

Other apps—the more "respectable" ones—use different but equally manipulative tactics:

• Algorithms designed to prolong the search (they don't want you to find someone—coupled user = user who deletes)

• Ghost matches (they show you likes that then disappear to create frustration)

• Artificial scarcity ("3 people liked you! Upgrade to see who" → then zero real matches)

• Dark patterns UI (hidden paywalls, impossible cancellation, predatory auto-renewal)

I had fallen for all of this.

Not because I was stupid. But because I was human. And they knew it.

The Breaking Point

After months of increasingly frustrating and damaging experiences, I no longer felt just sadness.

I felt anger.

Anger because I had the technical skills to see exactly what was happening, but most people don't.

Anger because vulnerable people—lonely, after trauma, desperately seeking connection—are systematically exploited by an industry that makes billions from their loneliness.

Anger because this is one of the few sectors where keeping people single is more profitable than helping them find love.

And then, when I found the strength to react, I asked myself a question:

"Could I build something better?"

The Decision: YourWay2Meet

I spent the following months doing something I should have done from the beginning: serious research.

I studied dozens of dating platforms—from famous apps to unknown sites, from premium services to "free" ones full of hidden paywalls.

I analyzed business models, user reviews, behavior patterns, monetization tactics.

And what I found confirmed my worst suspicions:

The online dating industry is systematically designed to exploit human vulnerability, not to solve loneliness.

So I made a decision.

Instead of complaining about the system, I would create an alternative.

Not another dating app with a gimmick.

Not "Tinder but for dog lovers" or "Bumble but with AI".

But a platform built on radically different principles.

The Principles of YourWay2Meet

Principle 1: Total Transparency

No secret algorithm.

Want to know why you're seeing these profiles? I'll tell you exactly:

• Compatibility based on interests, values, goals

• Geographic distance

• Matched preferences

• Similar activity level

I don't hide matches behind paywalls. I don't create fake urgency. I don't manipulate your feed to keep you scrolling.

No dark patterns.

• Simple cancellation (one click)

• Clear pricing (no hidden costs)

• Auto-renewal? I'll warn you 7 days before

• Your data? Stays yours

Principle 2: Strict Identity Verification

Zero tolerance for fake profiles.

After what I experienced, this is personal.

• Email verification (mandatory) and phone (optional)

• Photo verification with anti-deepfake AI

• Optional video verification (for users who want extra security)

• Human moderation for reports

Goal: 99%+ real profiles.

No bots. No catfishing. No paid employees pretending interest. Only real people seeking real connections.

Principle 3: Ethical AI

AI that helps, doesn't manipulate.

How I use AI:

✅ Profile improvement suggestions based on what works
✅ Conversation starters when you don't know what to say
✅ Warnings about suspicious behavior (money requests, scam patterns)
✅ Intelligent matching based on real compatibility

How I DON'T use AI:

❌ NO fake engagement (bots writing to you)
❌ NO algorithmic manipulation (hiding matches to force upgrade)
❌ NO automatic responses (I want authenticity, not GPT)
❌ NO behavioral analysis to sell data

AI must amplify your humanity, not replace it.

Principle 4: Honest Business Model

Free for the first 1000 founding members. Forever.

Why? Because I want to build this with people who believe in the vision, not just customers.

After 1000 members: €9.99/month

But with a unique twist: when you pay for 1 month, you can gift 1 to someone else.

If YourWay2Meet really helps you, I want you to share it with someone you love. More people = better matching pool for everyone.

No hidden costs:

• NO paywall on messages

• NO "premium" matches

• NO pay-to-win boost

• All features accessible to everyone

Principle 5: Community Before Numbers

Dating isn't the only form of connection that matters.

YourWay2Meet includes blog communities:

• Find people with shared interests (fitness, tech, art, travel, books)

• Build friendships

• Maybe romance develops too—or maybe not. Both are fine.

The mission is to fight loneliness in all its forms.

Our goal is to build a platform where people come out improved - or don't come out at all, because they feel so good inside they want to stay.

If you leave happy, we won. If you stay and are happy, we won.

What I Can't Promise

I want to be brutally honest about what YourWay2Meet isn't:

❌ It's not a magic wand.
I can't guarantee you'll find love. I can't create chemistry where it doesn't exist. I can't force people to respond.

❌ It's not perfect.
We're early stage. There will be bugs. There will be missing features and you might help me improve. There will be bad actors who pass verification (we'll ban them as soon as we find them). We'll improve moderation algorithms.

❌ It doesn't force you into one way of interacting.
YourWay2Meet doesn't impose compulsive swiping or a rigid approach. You can explore and interact as you prefer. Find what you're looking for—whether it's entertainment, friendship, casual sex, or love. But our real purpose is also to help you discover what you're not looking for but might really need: an authentic conversation, a deep connection, someone who understands you. Without manipulation, with genuine emotions.

What I Can Promise

✅ I will never scam you.

✅ I won't manipulate you with dark patterns.

✅ I won't sell your data.

✅ I'll be transparent about how the platform works.

✅ I'll listen to you to improve.

✅ I'll fight to make online dating more human.

Why I'm Sharing This Story

We're not a venture capital-funded startup with millions in marketing budget.

I'm a person who has lived the dark side of online dating. Who has suffered. Who has learned the hard way how predatory this industry is.

I share this story because I believe many of you have felt the same frustration, the same pain, the same feeling of being used.

If you've ever felt:

• Manipulated by an app that seemed designed to keep you dependent

• Deceived by fake profiles or conversations that disappear

• Financially exploited when you were vulnerable

• Alone, despite thousands of online "connections"

...then YourWay2Meet is for you.

The Invitation

YourWay2Meet is launching in Milan in December 2025. This doesn't mean you can't sign up if you're not from Milan, but we'll focus there to start.

The first 1000 members receive free access. Forever.

Because it's my way of thanking you for believing in this project even if you won't have immediate benefits. I want to build this community with people who:

• Believe in ethical dating

• Are tired of being exploited

• Want something better

• Are willing to give honest feedback to improve it together

Not as users. As founding members.

A Final Note

I know this story is personal. I know it exposes vulnerabilities.

But after what I experienced—after seeing how systematic the exploitation is in this industry—I can't stay silent.

Online dating can be better.

It must be better.

If no one else does it, I will. And I hope you'll join me.

Join the Movement

YourWay2Meet isn't just a platform. It's a movement to bring humanity and ethics back to online dating.

If you believe people deserve better—that technology should help, not exploit—join us.

Together, we can build something better.

Sign Up: [https://yourway2meet.com/pub/register]
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Questions? Feedback? Your story?

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Disclaimer:

This article represents personal experiences and independent research. Specific details have been modified to protect privacy, but the substance remains accurate.

YourWay2Meet is not affiliated with any of the sites mentioned.

About YourWay2Meet:

YourWay2Meet is an ethical dating platform founded by developers with 30+ years of experience in tech. Our mission is to fight scams, dark patterns, and manipulation in online dating, offering a transparent alternative where people come before profit.

Launch: December 2025 | Milan, Italy

This article was written by someone who lived the problem. If you're going through a difficult time and considering using dating sites, please read our safety guide first. Protect yourself.